Happy Father's Day Honey . . . Thank you For the Shot in the Butt Last Night

June 18th, 2017

The next thing I know, I open my eyes and MJ is sitting up on my side of the bed holding a bottle of my pills, saying, “You need to take a Treximet. He shook one of the blue pills, which will hopefully help to abate the throbbing in my head. You also need to take a Topiramate. Why are the pills in this jar different from each other? “, he asks.

He’s right. Both pills are yellow, but one is from CVS and has an IG 279 on it, and the other from Walgreens, has a more orange huge and a G 50 imprinted on it. Dumping the contents of my prescription bottles into mason jars to turn my medicine cabinet into old school apothecary chic seemed like a good idea when I was trolling Pinterest for organization ideas, but form over function doesn’t really fly right now. I grabbed one of the pills in the jar, and MJ handed me my glass of water from the nightstand. I took a swig. “The pills are from two different manufacturer’s, but they are supposed to both be ok for epileptics.” I explained. But is this really true. I would have to do more research to make sure. But what I really needed to do, as much as I hated to admit it, was lay off the sauce.

I took another swig. Head back down. Throb, throb, throb. I closed my eyes and hoped that when I opened them up it would all be better. My head was throbbing. Nope. Still there. Thump, thump. Thump,Thump. I sat up slowly. Drank a little more water. It hurts to move, but I make it to the bathroom. And that’s when I see the Diastat Accudial shot on the counter. I have no memory of it, but apparently MJ got to play nurse last night. Sexy.

Diastat contains benzodiazepine, which can be used as a muscle relaxer, sedative, tranquilizer, or an anti-convulsant. (Goldberg 2017). It’s powerful stuff alright. It can save your life, but it could kill you if you have too many chemicals rushin’ through your bloodstream. Two of these shots have been in my nightstand for a year. The last time I had a tonic clonic seizure, the emergency room doctor wrote us a prescription for them. He said that if I ever had another Tonic Clonic seizure, Mike could give me a shot, and it could be a “Good Thing” as Martha Stewart would say. If you have a seizure for longer than five minutes, it can cause permanent brain damage, or it can kill you.

Let me just say, Thank you, Jesus, for giving me another chance at this thing called life. I promise I will make this one count! And thank you MJ , you lovely husband of mine. I am writing a book right now, and if it ever makes any money, I am going to buy you a real father’s day present—that new road bike that you want.

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We spent father’s day with MJ’s family. I had a migraine, but I drank plenty of water, and we enjoyed spending time with family. When we came home that night I opened the refrigerator, and I saw a final glass of Prosecco starring at me from the refrigerator, calling my name, whisssssspering to me that if I partook in a sssssssmall glassssssss, that it would help my migraine go to disappear. When I unscrewed the bottle, it hissssssssed at me. I poured a final glass and said to myself, "I’ll have one more glass and then tomorrow, tomorrow I am calling my doctor."