Patience

It's been a year and three months since I have had a seizure or a drink. But it’s been three weeks since I’ve written anything. I have picked up the laptop everyday, but now that school has started back, I am trying to keep up with email, plan my schedule, update my lesson plans, yada, yada, yada. I have not had a seizure. I have not had a drink of alcohol. But I did take a pain pill last night. It was prescribed, by my dentist by the way. Today, I went to an oral surgeon, and he pulled a tooth that is causing an overcrowding issue now that I have braces. I feel better today. No hydro needed. Before I start cleaning the house, I decided to read a Daily Guideposts devotional scripture and passage.

“The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.”—Exdodus 14:14

That’s true isn’t it? We waste so much energy worrying, fretting, and fighting sometimes, when all we really need to do is be still. Pray. I fretted some about getting my tooth pulled because two weeks ago, I went to the dentist to get it pulled, and it did not go well. I asked the nurse for nitrous.

She said, “No, you won’t need nitrous. This is just a small tooth. This will be quick and easy!”

The doctor came in, and said, “It should be no big deal. We will numb you, and you won’t feel a thing. Just some pressure.”

Some pressure . . . Okay. That sounds fun, I’m thinking to myself. Why won’t they give me gas??? I’m scared!

So they rub my gum with some topical solution, and here comes the first shot! I close my eyes.

“You are going to feel a little pinch,” the doctor says.

And I feel a pinch that lasts a loooooooooooooong minute. I can still feel that by the way. But I am grateful for it all the same. Ad then another one.

They left me to get numb for five minutes. When they came back, the doctor said, we are going to see how numb you are. He poked and prodded and pulled for several minutes. When he was through, he and the nurse talked about how strong and brave I was and how big burley men would come in there and cower.

I assumed by how happy they looked and by how they were complimenting me that he had quickly pulled my tooth after he “tested” to see if I was numb. I was thrilled that it was over! So I said, “Is it over? Did you pull it?”

The dentist looked at me in surprise, “No, we were just testing to see if you were numb. We have not started to pull yet. But don’t worry, you won’t feel a thing.”

But I did. I mean it didn’t hurt. It was the pressure, like he said. If it had been quick, it would have been fine. But he just keep pulling, and pulling, and pulling. And maybe I was fighting it too. He kept telling me to keep my mouth open wide, and I kept making noises like I was being tortured. I wasn’t of course. I was fighting it, yet I wanted it over with.

Halfway through the experience, he told me that he wanted to stop and refer me to an oral surgeon.

My mouth was numb. I did not want to go through get shots again. School was going to start next week. I didn’t want to miss work this early on.

“Can you gas me up or something? Isn’t there something we can do to get this over with today?” I asked, for the second time that day.

“Sure,” he replied, “We can pull out the Nitrous Oxide and give this another try.”

So he brought in the “party in a canister” as they called it, and they put the mask over my mouth. I breathed in and out for about five minutes, while the nurse worked on the computer. I was starting to see stars. She asked how I was doing. I told her I think that I had probably had enough gas. She fiddled with the canister a bit, and the doctor came back. When he came back, he asked how I was doing, and I can’t remember what I said, but I all I know is that I did not feel a thing when they were pulling my tooth. And that part I liked, so I kept breathing. But the doctor got nervous, and took the nitrous off. He continued to pull, but the tooth was in a hard position to get because it was behind my braces. It was loose, but it would not come all the way out. He stopped and said that he was going to find me an oral surgeon who could take me on a Friday afternoon so that I would not have to miss work.

He gave me some medicine, and found me an oral surgeon, and booked the appointment. It was so kind of him to call a friend of his and ask him to work me into his schedule.

I was a little nervous about going to get the tooth removed this morning. I prayed about it, and that helped. But when I got there and they explained that I was going to have several shots, and no gas, I totally understood why the shots will be enough. I did not have a good gas experience the last time, after all. But I also did not have a good experience the last time, I just wanted to not be present for this experience at all. They wheeled in the cart with the shots . . . . one, two, three, four, did I count five??!! Wait are those for me? Dang. At least I’ll be numb . . .

So I just started praying again for this to be quick and painless, and for God to take control and to help the doctor get the tooth out of mouth. I quite fighting, and I was still. Even for the stupid shots.

Here comes the first one. WAIT, WHERE’S THE TOPICAL SOLUTION I’M SCREAMING IN MY HEAD, as I see the first shot coming toward my mouth with numbing solution dripping out of the needle.

“You are going to feel a prick,” Dr. East says. “How are you doing? Are you okay?” he asks.

I nod yes. The shot hurts, but I can feel it numbing right away. When they stick the second shot in, it does not hurt as much as the first. I cannot remember how many shots he gave me, but the last one was right behind the tooth that they are going to pull. By that time, it was getting numb, so it did not hurt too badly. I made it through the shot experience!

After I was numb, Dr. East came back in and it only took him a few minutes to pull the tooth. It helped that it was already loose, and he said that he had to use an “unorthodox method” to get it out. And I was lucky that it was loose because when he pulled, the tool he used hit my top row of teeth. If he had pulled any harder, I may have lost some teeth on top row!

But I believe that all things happen for a reason. Maybe God wanted me to go to my dentist to get my tooth loosened, and then to the oral surgeon to get it pulled out. Sometimes we don’t understand why things don’t happen on our timeline. I wanted to get my teeth straightened, and in order to do that I needed to have a tooth pulled. I wanted to get this done before school started, and when it didn’t happen, I got frustrated, but God had it under control. He always does. He always has a plan. We have to realize that things are not always going to follow our schedule, and that’s okay. And this also helps us to develop patience.

Lord, help me to trust in you and the plan that you have for my life. Help me to be patient when things do not go my way. And also help me to remember not to fight but to be still, and that you will fight my battles for me. Not my will, but your will be done, Lord. Amen.