No Pain, No Gain

Why does anyone choose to suffer? Many people do not wake up in the morning and think, I want to ride 45 miles on my road bike in 40 degree weather. Cyclists do, though. My husband, MJ, is one, I used to be, but after a few concussions over the years, I don't get out on the road as much as I used too. And I definitely don't wake up and think about riding 45 miles on a Sunday afternoon.

But MJ does. He has to put in the miles to make himself stronger. He also incorporates shorter training rides into his regimen during the week with intervals to increase his heart rate. If he trained at the same intensity all of the time, his riding would never improve. MJ could explain it better. But basically, he has to increase his pain level or endurance level on some of his rides each week so that he can gain strength and power.

I understand MJ's obsession with riding bikes. I have always loved riding my bike. Every since I was a child, I have loved the freedom that you feel when you are riding your bike. It feels like the closest thing to flying to me when you are going fast down a hill. And when I have the power to make it up a hill, my heart pumping, my endorphins on fire in my brain. I have always loved the independence that I felt, like that bike could take me anywhere I wanted to go.

And then I got a car. A tourquoise 1979 convertible Volkswagon Superbeetle. Thanks, mom and dad, by the way. I loved that car. But my bike got dusty in the garage for a few years. I did not forgot how to ride, though.

In college, I rediscovered my love for two wheels again. I met MJ on a bike. We were the only two cyclists in Knoxville at that time that we knew of that owned Waterford bicycles. Mine was blue like the ocean, and his was a patriotic red, white and blue. From that point on, we were always riding together.

I would ride with him on the weeknight bike shop rides and the long winter training rides,. And we would travel together on race weekends when spring would would begin. Now MJ continues this tradition on his own.

I do not ride much anymore. I can't keep up with MJ. We had a son, and I am keeping up with him instead. But MJ is still riding his bike. He woke up yesterday morning and decided to ride home from the cabin, where we had spent the weekend with my family. I thought, that's a long way. He was also going to ride the Parkway while he was at it. I thought, that's a really long way. We told him to be careful. And we watched him ride away.

On the drive home, I thought about those crash sensor dots that you can buy to put in helmets. Why had I not bought one of those for him yet? I always do this. I always worry about him when he rides--imagine the worst case scenario. I have even planned his funeral. Morbid, I know. But I like to prepare myself for the worst. I am a planner. I don't know what I would do if something happened to him. But that's what stresses me out. The not knowing. So I plan. And fret. And prepare. I know that I am supposed to give my worries up to God. And sometimes I do that . But when I was driving home that day, it was easy to worry.

I got home, and made lunch for all of us. I made Mike raviolis. Carbs. He would needs carbs after that long ride. I called him to let him know that his lunch was ready and to find out how far away he was. He is good at answering the phone while riding if he is riding by himself. He has excellent bike handling skills. I always feel so comfortable riding on his wheel when I ride.

No answer. I texted him. A few minutes later, the phone rings. It is Mike.

"Hi, Mike. How are you?"

"I'm O.K., but I had a wreck."

"You what?!"

"I think that I may have broken my shoulder."

"What! Are you O.K.?"

"Yes, I'm O.K."

"How did it happen?"

"A car was coming, and I was trying to avoid it. I hit the rumble strip, my tire went off the road, and I overcorrected. I crashed."

"I'm coming to get you. Where are you at?"

"No, I'm fine. This happened two hours ago. I am going to ride home."

"What? This happened two hours ago, and you didn't call me? Where are you?"

"Near the Market where we used to live."

"I will pick you up at the park near the bike trail. You are not far from there, are you?"

"No.'

So this is my husband. Riding home from the mountains with what he thinks is a broken shoulder. He almost made it the whole way home except that I forced him to stop and get in the car. He said he was fine until he stopped. That is when the pain began to set in. I guess he was too busy to notice the pain on the bike.

He explained everything to me in the car on the way home. It was the rumble strip that he hit. There was no more shoulder left on the road, and a car was coming. His tire went off of the road, and he over corrected. When he did, he ended up in the middle of the road. His helmet broke, but it protected his head. Thank goodness another car was not coming. But the car that passed him did not see him crash. He lost a water bottle, and could not find it. So he go on his bike. He was probably not thinking clearly. He definitely should not have been wearing a broken helmet, right? And he began the long ride home with one water bottle.

Rumble strips can be dangerous on a road for cyclists if they are not installed properly or if a road does not have enough of a shoulder. (By the way, you can go to https://www.adventurecycling.org/advocacy/national-advocacy-projects/rumble-strips/ for more information about rumble strips if you are interested).

Anyway, we went to the doctor, and MJ is going to be fine. He has no broken bones. A strained a muscle and possibly a separated ATL? Is that something, or did I just make that up? He is supposed to follow up with his primary care. We are going to replace MJ's broken helmet with one with a censor, so if this ever happens again, I will know about it when it happens, not two hours later!

So back to my initial question: why do people choose to suffer? We all have our share of unsolicited suffering in life. But when people choose to suffer, it depends on the context. MJ choose's to suffer to make himself a stronger cyclist. It is also a way to relieve stress from work. I guess that's why I go out and run now. It is a lot easier that a 45 mile ride, but I can suffer for an hour, and it's over. I also enjoy it. I guess it's some pleasure mixed in with some pain. But you have to have some pain or will not get any stronger. If you keep doing the same thing over and over again without pushing yourself, you will never get stronger, you will never grow.

A lot things in life work the same way. My professional life. I have a passion for what I do. But now that I do it every day, it has become a job. I could keep plugging along at it until I retire and just focus on the pleasure in it. Or if it want to be better at what I do, I have to work harder. I have to work on my lesson plans on the weekends and make sure that they are ready for Monday. That's painful and stressful sometimes. But because I enjoy what I do, that makes it worthwhile. What would pleasure be without pain? '

And what about my faith. I've watched the evolution of it over the years. When my family started going back to church on a regular basis a few years ago, it was easy to show up on Sundays and listen to the sermons and just take what we needed from it. That was pleasurable. When members asked us to start serving in the church, we got uncomfortable at first. I thought about how busy we were. At the time, I had seizures and migraines once a month, and I did not want to commit to serve, and then have to cancel due to not feeling well.

The baristas wanted us to serve in the coffee bar because we always stopped by to grab my son a hot chocolate every week. Someone that worked with the kids ministry called and wanted me to serve in one of the children's classroom's. I had experience working with children and keeping the nursery, so I felt comfortable serving in that capacity. MJ said that he would be willing to help me serve in the coffee bar once a month. I did not even know how to make coffee, but I would learn.

My point is that it has been painful sometimes to get up early on a Sunday morning when we are responsible for making the coffee or for me to make it to the prayer huddle with the Kid's ministry team on the Sundays when I keep the nursery. Sometimes I think, "I wish that I could sleep in!" But "no pain, no gain," right?

Because when we are at church more, we meet and connect with other people, and we make more relationships. I am praying for more people, and they are praying for me. I am praying over the children in the church and watching them as they grow into the next generation. MJ and I are talking to people and kids and learning about their lives as they come to the bar to fuel up with hot beverages.

Maybe I shouldn't liken serving to suffering. That is not what I mean. The point is that serving is not always easy. But I believe that we were made to serve others. Whether I am serving the children in the school where I work, the people in my church, the homeless downtown, a loved one who needs help, or a friend who needs to talk, I was created to serve. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45). And if Jesus did not come here to be served, neither should we. And that as hard as it may be at times, we will reap the blessings from it, just like we feel so rewarded after a long bike ride or a long run.