The Biting Truth
Why not talk about it? I do this self-destructive thing to myself throughout the day . . . I pick the dried skin off of my lips. Disgusting, right? Why would I do that? I feel like I can't control myself. It is weird, I know.
It reminds me of how my husband and son bite their nails. My husband will bite his down to the quick. Why do we engage in these self-soothing, yet destructive behaviors? I have noticed that my strange habit exhibits itself when I am stressed, anxious, bored, or depressed. The picking happens automatically now, and I don't always realize I am doing tearing the skin off of my lips like a deranged person! I hope that doesn't sound insensitive, but I do not feel normal when I am hurting myself.
There is a name for this condition: CSP (Compulsive Skin Picking). We've all heard the expression "pulling your hair out". There is a condition for that, too (Trichotillomania). I don't have that one. I just empathize is all. I like to play with my hair, you know trill a lock of it around on my finger. I guess I'm lucky that I don't have the urge to pull it out. Oh, and the scientific name for nail and cuticle biting is Onychophagia. So when my husband is is biting his his nails until they bleed, I can yell, " Stop the Onychophagia! What's bugging you, baby?" Crazy names for conditions that make us feel even crazier because we are letting these behaviors control us.
It reminds me of when I drank. I could not control myself. I was under the power of alcohol. I have wondered over the last few months, why this lip picking compulsion has such a strong power over me. I was able to give up alcohol. Why do I keep engaging in these terrible repetitive behaviors?
I think that it is important to get to the root of the problem. If stress, anxiety, depression, or boredom causes this behavior, then I am going to learn to recognize when I am feeling these emotions. Instead of hurting myself, I could use a fidgit toy to keep my hands busy. I got this suggestion from https://www.skinpick.com/lip-picking , which also has information about other neuroses as well.)
I will pray for God's help along the way. There are many times in life when I feel out of control. I have blogged about this before. And that is when I have to stop and give Him back control over my life. We can do anything with God's help, but we have to let him take the reins. I love the Bible verse, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10). God is telling us not to be "dismayed" or distressed because he will help us and "uphold" us, which means to support us. That is a prayer that I can pray to give Him control over my life again.
Lord,
Help me not to fear or to be distressed. I know that you are with me, and that you will help and support me. I want to give you control over my life. Alcohol does not have control. Destructive behaviors do not have control. Only you have control. Thank you. I ask you to fill my cup with your love and peace. Amen.